May 25

Just moved to Texas!  Yahooooo!  Welcome to Texas!  The weather report said it will be 100 degrees today.   Not a problem.  I live in a $250,000  home with air conditioning.  New car, new swimming pool.  Life is great!  I LOVE it here!

June 15

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.  Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain.  No more mowing the lawn for me.  Another scorcher today, but I love it here.  Very nice!

June 29

The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week.  How do people get used to this kind of heat?  At least, it's kind of windy though.  But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 5

Fell asleep by the community pool.  Got 2nd degree burns over 60% of my body.  Missed 7 days of work.  What a dumb thing to do.  I learned my lesson though.  Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 10

I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.  By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon.  The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits.   I learned my lesson though.   No more pets in this heat.   Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 15

The wind sucks!  It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer on full blast!  And it's hot as hell.   The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $800 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 20

Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now of a $225,000 house that I can't even go inside of.   Lomita is the lucky one.    
Why did I ever come here?  What the hell was I thinking?

July 25

Its 115 degrees.  Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.  It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to 89.  
I hate this stupid state.

July 27

If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for yall today?'  I'm going to strangle him.  Damn heat.  By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

July 28

Tried to run some errands after work.  Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire.  My skin melted to the seat.  I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass.  Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.  I have to wear kitchen mittens just to touch the steering wheel!

August 6

The weather report might as well be a damn recording.  Hot and sunny.  Hot and sunny.  Hot and sunny.  Hot and sunny.  Hot and sunny.  It's been too hot to do crap for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.  Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state?  Water rationing will be next, so my $2,700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.  Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

August 11

Welcome to HELL!  Temperature got to 115 today... 118 yesterday!  Cactus’ are dead.  Forgot to crack the window, so the heat blew the damn windshield out of the car.  The installer came to fix it... and guess what he asked me???  "Hot enough for yall today?"  
My sister had to spend $2,500 to bail me out of jail.  
Freakin' Texas!   
What kind of a sick, demented idiot would want to live here??        
Will write later to let you know how the trial goes…